Can I recommend an anger management specialist?
I enjoy my Sundays. It usually entails dressing a little snazzier than normal and hitting up the nearby Starbucks for a grande non-fat chai before heading over to church. This was all the case yesterday with a little Chipotle for lunch thrown in afterward. Now I'm wishing I'd said 'Olive Garden' instead of going with the Chipotle option. Our local burrito joint is in a strip mall type shopping center that is always packed and sometimes can be a little interesting to get into if there are multiple cars. Pulling in yesterday, this gentlemen (ha, anything but) was taking up more than his share of the lane and I couldn't get past him. And he just sat there and didn't make any attempt to move over. Fine, be that way. My only "interaction" with him, if you even want to call it that, was me telling him from inside my car to "move it over dude!" with a raised voice. He wasn't moving over and I could see him screaming at me from inside his car as I finally squeaked by. Whatever. Just another ignorant driver. We parked and headed inside and I happened to look outside and see the screamer circling back into the parking lot, quite obviously looking at my car. I pointed him out to the husband and while he turned around to continue checking out the menu, I kept my eyes on this guy. He circled the lot again and this time, pulled into a parking spot and started heading for Chipotle. Now, I like to think I'm somewhat level-headed but I also watch way too much Dateline and read too much news. All I'm thinking is: wacko, going to beat me up, probably has a gun, bad bad bad. I tried to remain calm (not happening) and hiss to the hubs that the guy is coming in to find us and probably kill us. I hear the door open behind me and he walks right up, gets all up in the hubs bizness and starts going off in what can only be described as idiotic behavior. "Yo man, what's your problem?" Um, what? That was pretty much our response too. We had no idea what the guy was talking about. Again, "you gotta problem with me man?" Again, we had the same response and my heart was seriously trying to make its way up my throat. Although this guy was my height, all I can envision is one of us getting popped in the face. Then Mr. Calm and Rational tells us what we "did" to make him come and hunt us down. "You were screaming at me and throwing gestures." First off, there was no screaming...I'm not a screamer. And props to you if you could hear screaming through 2 sets of car doors; you must be so proud of your super sonic hearing. Secondly, there were no gestures. Sorry, we're not 'gesture' people. Dude, you might want to get your vision and your hearing checked out. On second thought, get your brain checked out, you delusional wacko. I didn't have much to say, other than "what are you talking about", mainly because I was totally freaked out. I don't do well when people I know yell at me, let alone some wacko stranger in a restaurant. Finally he walks off with a super cool "whatever" and I let off with "yeah, real smart following us in here idiot." Not one of my coolest comebacks but hey, I was freaked out and was shaking and now my happy Sunday high was utterly squashed.
Now while the husband was telling me it was no big deal and not to worry, I'm envisioning future events worthy of a Dateline special. One's involving baseball bats to windshields. After we got home with our lunches, I kept peeking out the window halfway expecting to see the guy slashing my tires or leaning against the bumper with a shotgun waiting for me to come out to finish me off. Yes, I know I watch too much TV but I also have a mind that likes to run away with itself.
While I'm now pretty much over the incident, I will say that I am now terrified to even open my mouth if someone were to swerve deliberately in my direction. Maybe it will keep me from getting full on stalked and harassed in a burrito joint again.
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