Plastic surgeon's business card not included
No doubt about it, we're all about image. Looking good, looking hot. Whatever. Even the people I see strolling around the grocery store dressed in sweatpants that are screaming to be burned, probably enjoy looking nice too. Everywhere you look, it's ads for things that make you more beautiful/attractive/younger looking/etcetera etcetera. Some of these things can make me bug out my eyes and I tend to think that whoever uses them has gotta be a teensy bit shallow. Judgemental, yes but at least I'm honest. But yesterday I saw something that takes shallow to a whole 'nother level.
Meet Sugar Daddy Ken doll. 
I kid you not. Mattel has stooped to an all-time shallow level. His clothing is beyond ridiculous and I'm sorry but what is going on with his hair? But look, the included water bottle shows he's conscious about flushing toxins and staying hydrated in the Florida heat! What happened to Ken's plastic helmet hair? No, I didn't go looking for this little plastic treasure to buy but saw it as one of MSN's popular searches on its homepage yesterday. Seriously, how could you not click on a link that says Sugar Daddy Ken? Maybe someone more mature than me I guess. It took me forever and a day to find this stupid "doll" online (I spent an hour of "work" time on this) and I couldn't find it on the Barbie website. A website I never thought I'd visit at 29 but there's a first for everything. Well, come to find out, there was an uproar over this doll for supporting a non-healthy image. Apparently our uber suave friend Ken here got his name because his canine companion's name is Sugar and naturally the next step was to call him Sugar Daddy Ken. Naturally. I could only find one online site that offered him up for sale and wouldn't you know it, it's no longer available. Bummer! And for $70. Wow, Barbies have gotten pretty pricey since I was parading them around and giving them stylish 80's pixie haircuts. (Note to kids: Barbie hair doesn't do pixie. End note.)
After realizing that I would not be putting him on my Christmas wish list (kidding), I saw that Ego Inflated Ken came with friends! Introducing Palm Beach Barbie Swimsuit doll, Palm Beach Barbie Coral doll ($150...are you high?), and Palm Beach Barbie Caftan doll (nice muu muu). The first thing I noticed, (besides the staggering price) was how weird Barbie looks now. Take the swimsuit girl.
She's starting to look like one of those freaky Bratz dolls. We all know Barbie doesn't exactly have realistic proportions but her eyes are the size of her hand! Not that I still have my Barbie's lying around but I do remember them looking a little more normal and not quite so snotty. Tell me this chick doesn't have a nasty "you sooo don't belong here" look on her face. This is the Barbie I remember.
This was my last Barbie doll. My mom got me the 1989 Happy Holidays Barbie and I loved her. She looks nice, looks like an approachable girl, has a smile on her face and her eyes are a little more believable in size. She doesn't look like Botox Barbie above who appears she just got done reeming the cabana boy for putting something other than organic rum in her mojito.
Going on the hunt for Sugar Daddy Ken made me a little curious to see what else Mattel is pawning off these days. The first doll to greet me upon hitting up http://www.barbiecollector.com/? The special edition Christian Louboutin doll. She comes with 4 pairs of Louboutin's and is clad in a skintight catsuit that show off the aforementioned wacky proportions. I guess we can be thankful she's sporting some fashionable shoes and not busting cleavage out everywhere. I guess.
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