Amtrak...sleeping in phone booths made cool!

Last week, Dan and I made the big journey from Pennsylvania to Chicago for his brother Mike's graduation. Since our employers didn't let us know until the last minute if we could go, we didn't want to go the route of last minute plane tickets which were outrageously expensive. So instead of driving, we decided to Amtrak it. I'd been on a 3 hour Amtrak ride before and was thrilled with the big seats and space they gave you. This time, we were going to be traveling overnight so getting a room in the sleeper car seemed the way to go. They had several options for rooms and decided to go with the Family Room, which touted it was for 2 adults and 2 kids. I did the online virtual tour and thought that it would be more than sufficient for our 10 hour trip. I mean, the images showed happy, smiling travelers with plenty of leg room!

We drove to Pittsburgh to pick up the train and luckily, the wacko factor was low. Amtrak seems to be a small step up from the Greyhound terminals when it comes to wackos catching a ride. Yes, it did have the prerequesite crazy, talking to a vending machine guy in the terminal. On a side note, did you know that Amtrak does zero in the way of security checks? I'm not kidding. No metal detectors, no bag screenings. They're basically inviting people to bring their oozies and carefully wrapped bags of cocaine on board and frolic about. Makes you feel all warm inside, doesn't it?

The cross country trains are double decker and from the outside, look more than roomy. Apparently I have vision issues. We find our car and are told our room is "to the right and at the end of the hall". I walk down this "hall" which is no joke, the width of my slightly-larger-than-carry on-size bag. I open the Room 15 door and just about die. Below is the view of the room with me against one end/corner. You're basically seeing the entire room. How Amtrak advertised this room as fit for 4 human bodies is beyond me. There were 2 bunks which were no wider than a stretcher. The "big" bed (ha!) was maybe a little wider than a twin size mattress. Apparently the room was 5' x 9'. Small enough as it is without putting 4 BEDS IN IT! With all the beds down, it was not possible for both Dan and I to be standing at the same time in our cozy domicile. Being that it was now midnight, we both just wanted to try to get some sleep and get ready for our busy weekend in Chicago.

I have fallen asleep on some less than comfortable surfaces in my lifetime but this one proved to be almost impossible to entice sleep. The train was constantly rocking (duh, I know), brakes and wheels screeching, horn blowing. Not to mention that the bed was seriously lacking in every department and the pillows are right up there with the pillows you get on planes but no one expects those to be great. We got to Chicago with maybe an hour or two of sleep between us. Now I don't know about you but when I don't get enough sleep, my stomach is one of the many things not happy about me. Pair that with the rocking & rolling train and it was all I could do not to upchuck all over our closet of a room.

For 3 days I was thinking about our return trip on Amtrak. I knew that we had booked the Super Roomette and while I couldn't remember exactly what the layout was, I had the sinking feeling that it was going to be worse than our Family Room O' Fun to Chicago. One should listen to those sinking feelings better. To add insult to injury, I somehow managed to misplace my return ticket. I figured it was no big deal. I mean, airlines will reprint your tickets with the slightest of ease! This is Amtrak...how hard can it be?!? Mmmmhmmm, not so much. I go to the counter, explain my situation, and pull out my ID to verify that yes, I am who I say I am but they never bothered checking it. Ah yes, well Amtrak does not in fact have a customer friendly policy for those that misplace their tickets. They make you buy it again. Yes, I had to shovel out more money for a train ride I knew I was going to dread. But what options did I really have? It's not like Chicago and Pennsylvania are that close.

So off we go, schlepping our bags down the track to our train. We meet our "personal attendant" and are told where our room is. If you had a mental image of what this joint would be like, discard it...your image is way better. The Super Roomette sounds like it would super and awesome; it was not. Amtrak describes this beauty as being 3'6" x 6'6". Please, try to control your jealousy. This time, we had 2 prison size bunks. I took the top bunk and prayed I could keep any claustrophobia under control as the ceiling was right next to my head. Once the door was shut, it soon turned into a roomy coffin as the air wasn't working (shocker) and I felt like I was suffocating. Air doesn't circulate too well in a twenty-two square foot room. There were a few times I had to grab the "don't roll onto the floor and kill yourself" straps and on the top bunk, it felt like the train was going to jump ship. I spent the majority of the night trying to figure out how we were going to get out alive when this happened.

Now while we got no sleep and were turned away from Amtrak for good (unless it's during the day and we don't have to sleep), we did get dinner in the dining car and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. Definite restaurant quality food. But keep in mind that we were on the top level of a train and ole Captain Larry had the propensity to take corners a little too fast, sending our food and glasses to the floor.

Hmmm, do you think Amtrak will compensate me for the wonderful endorsement I just did?

Posted by Mandy at 5:59 PM