Back to Colorado...part 1
As many of you know, I moved out of Colorado a couple months ago. I was forced to decide which things I was content to live with for the unforseen future. I mean, how does a self-confessed shoe-aholic pick between the salmon suede platform pumps and the black crocodile peep-toe slingbacks?!?!? I know, Defcom level 5 problems we're talking about here. In deciding which shoes to bring (I brought both, by the way), I also had 2 months left on the lease of my house and headed east with the intentions of coming back in late August to pack up the remainder of my things and put them in storage for who knows how long.
Last Wednesday, I started the journey to head back home. And yes, Colorado is and always be home. I mean, have you been there? Hello! The place is awesome and would be perfect if it had an ocean but I'm not complaining. Anyway, I digress. Not only did I have to fly home, but I'm flying out of a small airport, on a small plane, and heading to the airport at 3am. Yay me for picking such a stellar time to leave. Now if you didn't know, I. hate. to. fly. Do not like it at all. To make it even worse, I'm flying on a commuter plane which to me equals more turbulence and more nervousness for moi! I head into the security line and my trustee Burton backpack gets pulled aside for "additional screening". I wasn't worried but couldn't for the life of me figure out what I'd put in there to garner a hands-on poking.
First, let me preface by saying I never use this bag when flying. The last time I used it was when I left Colorado in July and my mom tossed a few last minute things on the kitchen counter into the bag just to get them packed. Now Mr. TSA starts going through my bag and pulls out a huge bottle of hand lotion. Waaaay over the 3 ounce limit. Whoops. He keeps digging and pulls out my super snazzy gull-wing wine corkscrew. Double oops. Did not realize that was in there. I apologize profusely and expect him to toss not only the lotion into the garbage, but take my corkscrew too. The tip of the thing is seriously sharp and I'm surprised I never maimed myself with it. "It's a little sharp but you should be okay. But I'm keeping the lotion." I do believe I was speechless. Hey, we're gonna keep your lotion but off you go with your corkscrew with the near switchblade tip. If one pulled their arm back far enough, I'm sure they could manage to give someone's carotid a nice run-through. I'm pretty sure this is a big violation of TSA's guidelines. Not that I plan on commandeering the plane but I'm glad I got to keep it. And equally glad that this happened in tiny Scranton and not Denver International where I probably would've been hauled into some back room and interrogated for 3 hours about what airline I was taking over until my demands were met.
0 comments:
Post a Comment