Here dentist...take my $$ please

She strode into the local dentist office confidently. It was going to be 2 crowns so really, how bad could it be? All in all, there was really no pain...it's the other stuff they don't tell you about. She was me today.

This dentist was overly friendly, but not in the annoying cheerleader, yappy dog type of friendly. See, I had some shoddy fillings done way back in the day and they've since broken off (tooth and all), now requiring crowns and more fillings. Hoorah! So off I go for an afternoon in the dentist's chair. This guy was great though--didn't even feel the novacaine needle go in, thanks to this gross tasting numbing gel he'd used. That of course gooped its way onto my tongue and down my throat. The procedure went pretty good, except when handy dental assistant spilled this anti-bleeding liquid in my mouth instead of on my gums. I don't think I've ever tasted anything so vile.

So after countless impressions for my temporary crowns, I'm done. Feeling a little numb but no biggie right? Oh no, it all comes crashing down once I start moving around and look in the mirror. My entire face is numb numb numb so I sound like a stumbling drunk-slash-stroke victim. I look in the mirrow...I mean mirror. Great! Now I'm typing like I'm talking! I've got this honkin' set of red duck lips. And don't imagine that I'm the new Angelina Jolie because it's not even close. I'm closer to the pictures you see in the "gee I wonder who had their lips done" photo galleries or "made out with a pool drain" victims. I slap down $556 (a total bargain though considering it would've cost $2200 with normal insurance) and head back to work.

Putting chapstick on was highly entertaining...my lips would not cooperate at all. I decided to try some soda and soup for lunch: I didn't spill or drool any but I'm surprised the amount of slurping I was doing didn't draw attention. I've provided some entertainment for my coworkers and now the novacaine is wearing off so it feels like I've been whacked with a hammer a bit. Worst part of this whole thing: I can't chew anything for 2 weeks until I get my permanent crowns due to the temps being on my molars. Great.

Posted by Mandy at 3:14 PM